December, 2002
Believing is seeing
Previous Issues
Jeannine and I stood in the bedroom of our small apartment
and stared at the piece of furniture the two of us had just built. It
seemed odd and out of place, like it belonged in someone else's home.
In ours, it seemed strangely—yet pleasantly—surreal.
It was a crib. We had just put it together because we
were expecting our first child in about a month. But as it sat there in
the corner of our bedroom, neither Jeannine nor I could believe that in
a few weeks it would be occupied.
We had always wanted kids. And maybe that was part of it. Sometimes we'd be walking through the mall or the grocery stores and notice little kids looking at us, as if to say, "Hey, when are you going to have one of me?"
The day we found out Jeannine was pregnant, the clouds
seemed to all be gathered and pointed toward our apartment as I drove
home to hear the news. Now, Jeannine was clearly as pregnant-looking as
a woman could get. But as we stood there looking at the crib, neither
of us could believe it was true.
A month later, our first son arrived. It didn't take
long for the reality to take hold. After a difficult delivery, Jeannine
needed a walker to get across the parking lot of our apartment complex.
She could hardly climb the five stairs up to our apartment. She cried
at the pain of her milk coming in, and Justin cried because he was hungry
and didn't know how to nurse. There was no denying it—he was here!
And as we tucked our little son under his covers that first night in our
apartment, in that crib that we had built—unbelievingly—a month
before, we believed it through and through.
And that's the way most things happen in our lives. We
believe them once we see them—not before. Something great is inside
of you—in this case, quite literally—but you just can't believe
it until it actually comes out. Positive mind is believing it before you
see it. It makes the birth of great things easier. Even pleasant. And
often, positive mind can lead to the birth of something that no one even
knew was inside of you.
Our first son, Justin, would have shown up when he did
whether we believed he was coming or not. But how strange was it that
with the billions of babies born before in the history of the world, we
couldn't believe one could be coming to us? And if this tiny bit of positive
mind was so difficult, how hard is it to believe in something that has
never happened to anyone before?
What about the first person to run the mile in under
four minutes? What about the person who discovered the smallpox vaccine?
Did they believe that their babies were truly on the way? Or did they
think that it could never happen to them, either? What about people who
stop smoking, or lose weight, or find a better job? Certainly many people
have done those things. But when it's you, and you've never done it before,
it often seems impossible until it happens.
That's the trick of positive mind. Believing in something
that has never happened to you before. Positive mind can help great things
happen, with much less pain, effort, and questioning; with much more certainty.
And perhaps the greatest of those things is the transformation that occurs
within when you learn how to throw this switch.
I think that Kokyu Dosa is one of the best training grounds
for positive mind. You find some big, strong person who you think you
could never push over. And then you try. Lo and behold, they don't move!
So what do you do? You try again, believing you will succeed. And you
fail again. You keep repeating this process over and over. And what happens?
Your positive mind grows and grows. Because positive mind doesn't grow
when you succeed—success without difficulty is the greatest enemy
of positive mind. It grows when you fail and keep believing.
And as you know, the failing part is not hard to come
by. At a recent camp with Maruyama Sensei, I was amazed as I watched Sensei
perform Shomen Uchi Kokyunage. This is clearly one of his favorite techniques,
and he makes people fly with seemingly no effort at all on his part. I
practiced the technique with all my heart, but still, it didn't come close
to what Sensei was doing.
After class, I talked with Dave Nachman Sensei about
it. I said I found it hard to believe I would ever be able to do that
technique like Sensei. Dave Sensei thought for a moment, then asked me
how long I had been studying Aikido. He calculated how much longer Maruyama
Sensei had been practicing. The difference was 24 years. Dave Sensei said,
"Don't you think you'll be able to do it in another 24 years of practice?"
I said, "Well, yeah, probably." And my positive mind grudgingly
gave in to the idea that one day, far in the future, I would almost certainly
get it.
The next day before class, I was wandering the mat looking
for someone to practice with when Dave Sensei's wife, Roni Sensei, caught
up with me. She wanted to work on Shomen Uchi Kokyunage. She threw me,
and it felt as amazing as Maruyama Sensei's technique. I looked at her
with a smile of astonishment. Then she told me exactly what Sensei had
told her. Three key things to think about. I asked her if she would watch
me as I tried. Following her instructions precisely, I threw another uke—and
it felt amazing! It felt like I had finally done it—not after 24
years, but the very next day! Does positive mind work that fast? Not always,
but apparently sometimes.
When you have positive mind, it's like a switch has been
thrown. It creates an amazingly different feeling inside you. There is
a sense of certainty that the thing you dream of is fated to be yours.
It may not be there yet, but it's coming. Positive mind removes worry
and uncertainty. It makes you feel sure, and comfortable. When someone's
mind changes to positive, you can see the change come over him. But sometimes
is takes a little push, or perhaps a little kick, for positive mind to
finally become engaged.
Two and a half years after our son Justin was born to
his two unbelieving parents, he learned a lesson about positive mind himself.
Jeannine was now pregnant for our second child. We had explained to Justin
as best as we could that a baby was growing inside his Mommy's tummy.
We showed him pictures, we had little talks. This time, Jeannine and I
believed it. But it was hard to say whether Justin did or not.
While we were camping that summer, Justin was sitting
with his Mom on the couch in her parents' camper. He would lay across
her stomach, and then throw himself back on the couch saying, "Oh,
the baby just kicked me!" Of course, he hadn't really felt anything.
Jeannine had just told him that he might someday feel the baby kick.
Justin did this act a few more times. But then, while
laying across Jeannine's stomach again, the baby really did kick. Justin's
face turned sober. There was a baby in there after all! He believed. A
few months later, Matthew was born.
But it was Matthew who summed up the reward for positive
mind most succinctly when his own baby brother was born some 5 years later.
In the hospital room with little Nicholas the day after his birth, Matthew
beamed at his mom and dad and said, "This is like a dream."
Put positive mind to use, and one day, you'll be saying the same.
Upcoming Events
Rochester dojo testing, December 4 at 7 AM and December 5 at 7 PM.
Video Night and Holiday Celebration, Thursday December 5, 8:30.
Open Mat for Brown and Black Belts, Sunday morning, December 8.
Open Mat for Brown and Black Belts, Friday, December 13, 6 PM.
No classes, December 24 & 25.
No classes, December 31 & January 1.
Farewell
We are sad to report that yet another student has moved from the area.
Jessica Parry has relocated to the Washington, D.C. area. We wish her
the best of luck, and congratulate her on her wisdom in moving to a city
with an active Kokikai dojo. Good luck, Jessica! We'll miss you.
November?
There was no November issue of Nikyo Monthly because of computer problems.
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
- Mark Twain