March, 2004
Patience is a Rhythm
Previous Issues
by Marcella Mosher
Patience is not one of my virtues.
The summer after graduating high school I remember writing
to a friend, "The person who came up with the saying, "Patience
is a virtue", must have missed out on a heck of a lot in life!"
I don't remember why I wrote this. I don't remember what triggered the
comment, but whenever I think about it now it evokes a feeling of frustration.
I was probably waiting for something that wasn't happening fast enough
for me at the time. I saw patience as just passively waiting around for
something to happen. Patience was not a positive thing.
Recently, I attended a memorial service
for a friend's mother. During the service there were several beautiful
readings but the one that stuck in my mind was from the Book of Ecclesiastes
(3:1-8). It's a passage that is familiar to many people because it was
popularized in the 60's by the folk rock band The Byrds. Pete Seager adapted
the biblical passage into the song, Turn, Turn, Turn.
Chorus: To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep, etc.
That reading from the Book of Ecclesiastes got me thinking
about patience. It suggests that things happen when they should; that
there is a rhythm and timing to everything.
Every year since we moved into our own home, my husband Gregory has planted a vegetable garden. I can see his impatience for planting begin about the end of March when we get those first few hints of spring. The snow seems to be gone for good, the crocuses are starting to poke out of the earth and the geese are beginning to return. Yet, Gregory waits until just the right moment to start turning the dirt over and while he waits out come the gardening books, out comes the graph paper and he plots out his garden. And once again in the late summer I can see his impatience for picking his first tomatoes. He watches them carefully and bemoans having to be away from his garden for more than a few days at a time. He doesn't want to miss that first ripe tomato but while he waits he waters and weeds. Then when the color is just the right shade of red he picks the first tomato.
Gregory's gardening patience is very active; he reads,
he plans, he waters, he weeds and finally he picks a tomato. There is
rhythm and timing to a garden and patience is big part of this rhythm
and timing.
Just like in many Aikido throws, we must be patient and
find the rhythm and timing. We must be patient and wait for uke to be
in the right place. We must have patience and find our partners "sweet
spot". If Pete Seager had adapted Turn, Turn, Turn for Aikido it
might have gone something like this:
Refrain: To every throw - turn, turn, turn
There is a rhythm - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every throw under heaven
A time to tenkan, a time to wait,
A time to funekogi undo, a time to wait,
A time to udemawashi undo, a time to wait, etc.
Katatetori kaiten nage is the perfect "patience
throw" because there is a lot of waiting involved. It took me a long
time to accept this because I thought martial arts was not about waiting
around. But I've come to learn that all the waiting is important and definitely
not passive. There is a lot going on as we wait for uke to orbit us; we
must be aware of our mau ai (correct distance) with uke so that we turn
tenkan at the right moment, we must keep our balance as we do funekogi
undo at just the right point in uke's apex, we must be ready to cut down
for udemawashi undo just as uke completes his circuit around and so on
until we can complete the throw. It seems like a lot of waiting for a
throw that takes only a few seconds to complete but the more patient we
are the easier, more satisfying and beautiful the throw. There is a rhythm
and a time for every throw under heaven.
So now patience is a rhythm, which I look for in Aikido and my life off the mat. Yes, I'm still impatient but I no longer see the act of being patient negatively. It's no longer just "waiting around for something to happen." Patience is very active and positive now. When I find myself getting frustrated while trying to be patient I think "to everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven" and remember Gregory's garden and katatetori kaiten nage and all that can be done while waiting patiently for something to happen.
Coming Together
The following centering hint was written by Judy Warner.
Last fall I wrote about my Aikido student, Steve, who
suffered a stroke that has left him unable to move most of his body but
totally aware of his situation. Steve recently moved to a local long term
care facility after more than 120 days of hospitalization. The move caused
me to stop and reflect on those 120 days, a time of conflict and learning
for Steve, his family, and his friends.
I was struck by how awesome the people are with whom I practice aikido. With no real organization, they mobilized into a support network for Steve and his family. Within hours of learning of Steve’s hospitalization, our students began visiting him. As he moved from intensive care to a medical unit and finally a neurological unit, so moved our students.
Without planning, Steve has been visited almost every
day by someone. And, these visitors created a communication network so
that we each could learn from the other’s visits and act as advocates
for Steve. We began to function as one person even though not one of us
could visit every day.
Our group did not stop at visits. Each person found a
niche – sewing pillows, developing an alphabet system for communication,
guiding meditations, telling jokes to make him laugh, researching information
on the web. For Christmas, a tiny tree arrived by Steve’s bed adorned
with peace doves and an angel with Steve’s name on it. Someone baked
cookies for the hospital staff who cried with Steve during the holiday
season. Another student organized help in preparing Steve’s house
for sale (to facilitate his placement in a
rehab facility). Others brought in CDs and books on tape. Two people talked
the doctors into letting them take Steve outside for the first time when
we had some nice weather in early November. As the weather in Rochester
grew nasty and it was difficult for his mother to visit him as much, she
was kept up-to-date. When it was time for Steve to move from hospital
to the long term care facility, someone took off from work to be with
him and his Mother.
If you were to look at us quickly as you pass by our
practice room, you would see just an average slice of middle America –
an assortment of professionals and blue collar workers who have a common
interest in a martial art. But it is clear, we are so much more.
I wonder what you will see if you look more closely at those around you. It is easy to take people for granted. In some ways we took Steve for granted for nearly 10 years. Steve has now given us the gift of not waiting to appreciate those around us.
Upcoming
events
Beginners' Class, Wednesday, March 3 at 7 PM.
Test Preparation Class, Thursday March 4 at 8 PM.
Mind/Body Training, Thursday, March 11 at 8 PM.
Winter Camp with Maruyama Sensei, March 12-14 in Lawrenceville, NJ.
Weapons Class, Monday, March 15 at 7 PM.
Video Night, Monday, March 22.
Mind/Body Training, Thursday, March 25 at 8 PM.
Black Belt Class, Monday, March 29 at 7 PM.
Kokikai International Event, May 2004 in Japan.
Better than a thousand days of diligent practice
is one day with a great teacher.
- Japanese Proverb