September, 2003
Have no fear. Okay, maybe a little.
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As I looked out on the scene, I felt a sick feeling grip
my stomach.
I was 80 stories up in the air, high on a building that
was still under construction. At this level, there were only steel girders.
No walls. No floors. I wondered what I’d been thinking. Why would
anyone want to be up here at this height, just one step away from death?
Yet right there below me, sitting on a long beam, their
feet dangling hundreds of feet above the pavement, were a dozen construction
workers blithely eating their lunches. Their lack of concern for their
safety made me feel even worse. How could they not feel gripped with the
same fear I was feeling? I had to get control of myself. I told myself,
Just don’t look.
I tore my eyes away, and looked in the other direction.
The scene that met my eyes was entirely different: A small crowd of people
milling about in a pleasant—and very safe—setting. A restaurant.
And hanging on the wall of that restaurant was a photograph, an image
captured maybe a hundred years ago of workers eating their lunch high
on the Empire State Building’s unfinished steel structure.
You see, I hadn’t been up there at all. I’d
just been staring at that picture. But the queasy feeling in my stomach
had been for real. Though I was standing firmly on the hard tile floor
of a sandwich shop, when I looked at that picture, I truly felt the fear
of being perched precariously hundreds of feet in the air.
Somehow, I always expected Aikido would take away all
my fear. I imagined that eventually, I would be able to face anything
without the slightest quiver running down my spine. And while I feel much
calmer in almost any situation I find myself, I’ve come to a totally
different conclusion about fear: Fear is good.
Fear tells you important things. Like "Watch out,"
"Back off," "You shouldn’t be here," "This
is a bad idea." It helps you to protect yourself—which, of course,
is one of our primary goals in Aikido. It helped your ancestors to protect
themselves, too, which is one of the main reasons we're all here today.
But somehow, we’ve come to associate fear with cowardice,
with timidity. A big kid in junior high throws a punch just inches from
your face and you leap back. "Flinch!" he cries derisively.
But doesn’t it make sense to jump? Would you be smarter or more highly
evolved if you just stood there, unmoving?
It’s easy to feel embarrassed when your fear is
made obvious to others. On a hike with my family a year ago, my wife came
upon a small snake in the path. She jumped straight up in the air, shrieking.
My oldest son, Justin, thought this was hilarious, and teased her about
it for several minutes. But then he came upon a snake himself and did
the exact same thing! I would have made fun of them both if I hadn't been
afraid of stumbling upon the next snake myself.
But their behavior was perfect, and beautiful. It’s
easy to see how it developed. Perhaps long ago, there was a tribe that
was afraid of snakes, and a tribe that wasn’t. Whenever one of the
Afraid-of-Snakes tribe members saw a snake, he would jump up in the air.
Of course, the No-Fear tribe would whoop and laugh and make fun. When
No-Fear tribe members stumbled upon a snake, they wouldn’t jump.
They were so brave! And eventually, they all got bit and died. Fear is
a good thing.
So don’t ignore fear. Recognize it, and use it.
When we use a wooden knife in the dojo, we always try to imagine that
it actually has an edge and could cut you. Similarly, when you work with
your partner in the dojo, imagine that his hands and feet might actually
punch or kick you. This is terrific encouragement for finding correct
mau ai, or distancing.
Where exactly should you stand in relation to your partner?
One way to determine that is to stand facing your partner so that when
you both extend your closest arms, your fingertips just touch. Then, take
one step back. But here’s another method: Stand far enough away so
that your fear stops.
The fear stops when you have the feeling that, no matter
how your uke attacks, and no matter how quickly, you’ll have things
under control. You will have time to step back, to duck under, to move
off-line, to cut ki, to lead, to do something so that you will not receive
the force of the attack.
Here’s what not to do: Assume that, by keeping one-point,
you should be calm no matter what the situation. Because truthfully, even
a 2-year-old can move quick enough to swat you on the nose if you’re
standing close enough. You can bet a trained fighter can do even better.
Sensei once gave this advice about walking through a
bad neighborhood: Walk quickly. Now, would you have expected a martial
artist to say, mentally prepare yourself for battle, keep watching for
the enemy, prepare to vanquish any foe, and have no fear? But even if
you were to beat one attacker in a bad neighborhood, what are the chances
that his friend wouldn’t be right behind him? Personally, I have
more faith in the walk quickly strategy.
Perhaps you have heard stories of one of the greatest
swordsman of all times, Myamoto Musashi. He was said to have beaten an
army of a hundred men all by himself. But how did he do it? Musashi ran
to a footbridge only wide enough for one person so he could face his opponents
one by one. Seeing those hundred swordsmen storming him probably made
him feel fear. But on that bridge, he could feel confident again. He knew
how to beat one man at a time. So he moved to where his fear stopped.
Musashi defeated scores of swordsmen, supposedly never
losing a match. But he was said to size up his opponents beforehand. The
weak ones he fought and beat. The strong ones he invited to have a drink
with him!
But was Musashi considered a coward? On the contrary,
he is revered as one of his countries bravest swordsmen. He understood
his fear, and used it.
My guess is, he probably jumped when he saw a snake, too.
Fall
Changes
In September our RIT Aikido Class will be returning to its roots. Shawn Birmingham and Brett Porter, assisted by Steve Perino, will move the 7 PM Monday night class to RIT. For those of you who are not aware, our dojo began at RIT as a student club while Jonathan Bannister Sensei was a student. The change is taking place because space has opened at RIT and this will make it easier for RIT students to study Aikido. RIT students will, of course, still be welcome to practice other nights at the dojo. We wish Shawn, Brett, and Steve the best.
Beginning in September, Monday evenings will continue to have a 5:45 PM
class open to everyone. The 7 PM class will now have the specialty classes
that were previously on Wednesday nights. This will include weapons training,
ran tori, and test preparation classes when appropriate. There will also
be a kiatsu/ki exercise class once a month. Beginner's class will remain
on Wednesday nights once a month. Be sure to check the dojo calendar for
the Monday night schedule each month. That calendar is always available
on line at http://ical.mac.com/judywarner/Dojo and is updated frequently.
You can get on a mailing list for updates via email by sharing your email
address with Judy. (judy@judywarner.com)
Upcoming
Events
Beginner's Class, Wednesday, September 3 at 7 AM.
Brown and Black Belt Class, September 8 at 7 PM.
Weapons Class, September 15 at 7 PM.
Video Night, September 22 at 8 PM.
Children's Testing is September 27, from 9-10 AM.
Winter Camp is March 12-14.
There are times when fear is good.
It must keep its watchful place at the heart's controls.
- Aeschylus